IS IT SAFE TO GO LOOKING FOR COCOA BEANS IN INDONESIA?

I had five queries from nervous chocolatiers. This one kind of sums up the thoughts conveyed:"I hear so much about safety issues about Indonesia. In fact till recently our government had issued a travel warning about visiting Indonesia. Is it really safe to go searching around for beans in places like those you mentioned, Papua, Ternate,Bacan, Java.."

Recently I had an exuberant and enthusiastic visitor,a young chef, a Scot, Glen McIntyre(or something close. He had a surname pronounced different from the way it was spelled)who worked for the Four Seasons. On his arrival,in Jakarta, all he wanted to do was to see, and possibly experience, as much Indonesian food as possible.

There is Italian, French, German, Indian, Chinese, Argentine(I am not making this up),Arabian, Dutch, Malaysian, Indian, Singaporean and even Russian food on Jakarta's main street. And miles of chocolate too.But no Indonesian food worth mentioning.

So Glen and I plunged into the back lanes and alleys of Jakarta where food from nearly all of the inhabited 17,000 islands of this archipelago,was being busily prepared, cooked and consumed enthusiastically. In our forays into the deep, sometimes dark, alleyways and byways we did everything the Personal Security Advisor beseeched us not to do.

We made our ourselves conspicuous, we carried a lot of cash(none of the establishment we were interested in accepted credit cards)and arrogantly waved it under noses, we bumped into people who looked sinister, we flirted with giggling women, we went into really dark places, into place conscientiously developed for pick-pockets,we walked, we picked fights by bargaining outrageously,we asked rude questions. We emerged unscathed after a week.

I took Glen to the mountains of Central Java, where my wife has the immensely good fortune to come from. We walked into houses, most were unlocked, dined with occupants, carried a lot of cash and flashed it shamelessly around, took dangerous mini-vans for transport,abused the drivers, went out in the pitch dark, sang rude rugby songs and argued with a policeman. We emerged unscathed after four days. Glen had collected books of notes on Indonesian food.Persumably he is putting it into good use in Scotland or elsewhere.

The fact is Indonesia is safe.Don't listen to your Governments. Honestly what do they know? Look at the mess we faced this September alone. Don't listen, for heaven's sake to Dick Cheney. The best authority to ask is INTERPOL or a missionary.

If you asked INTERPOL they would tell you,that per 10,000 capita, in Homicide, Indonesia is 4 times safer than Australia, 14 times safer than the UK and 6 times safer than the US. Taking Rape incidents, Indonesia is 18 times safer than Australia, 12 times safer that the UK and 32 times safer than the US. Assault, Indonesia is 170 times safer than Australia, 30 times safer than the UK and 89 times safer than the US. We are far behind these countries in embezzlements, but catching up I am proud to say.

Another good source to check out safety in remote parts, where cocoa is grown, is with missionaries. I asked a very petite nun called Sister Godlive(I am not making this up) who lived in the Muluku for years. She has actually been to Becan and Ternate. I asked her if there were many murders in these parts. She said, "I haven't heard really." Are there any gun related violence?"Oh no" she replied, "Gun ownership is against the law." Are there any thefts?"Oh yes. It is sad but people are often stealing chickens."

It is absolutely safe to visit Indonesia. In fact it might be a good place to really get some peace and quiet.